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Posts Tagged ‘child’

Has Anyone seen Bobo?

In It's Only Words on 07/11/2012 at 06:41

Bobo the Bear looked about him. He had no idea where he was. No purple bedspread, no butterflies on the wall beside him and no Abi curled up under the covers. No, this room was small and dark and lonely. He put his chin in his paws and began to cry, ‘Oh how will I ever find my way home again?’

In a pretty brick house in a nearby town, Abi Flowers was desperately searching her bedroom for her favourite toy, ‘Mummy, I can’t find him. I can’t find Bobo!’
‘It’s alright darling, we will find him. He can’t have gone far.’ Mrs Flowers watched her daughter upturning the contents of her room for the umpteenth time and decided enough was enough. ‘Sweetheart, go to sleep now, we’ll look again in the morning.’
‘But Mummy, I can’t sleep without Bobo.’ Tears were pooling at the corners of Abi’s eyes, a fierce look on her face as she continued her search.

Later that night, with Abi unhappily tucked up in bed, Mrs Flowers decided it was time to call in a little assistance. She put out an S.O.S. via all the social networking channels – Facebook, Twitter and beyond – with a plea to help find her daughter’s beloved Bobo. She had already trawled the Internet looking for a replacement but the extra large size that original Bobo had taken didn’t seem to be traceable. Going to stand outside her daughter’s room, she peered in on the sleeping child and felt her heart break as she saw Abi’s little hand desperately clutching onto the bedcovers in place of her bear.

‘Please,’ she whispered. ‘Please get him to us.’

…To be continued.
This tale is based on a true story. A fellow mum is frantically searching for an EXTRA LARGE Crumble bear from Mamas + Papas (no longer in stock) – if anyone has one they’d be happy to sell her, please get in contact with me: hnymark@hotmail.com. Thank you.

The ‘How-To’ of Parenting

In It's My Year, It's Only Words on 07/01/2012 at 16:57

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It’s funny, since learning I was pregnant and then, nine months later, becoming a parent, my social circle has evolved to largely include fellow mothers, my conversation rotates around issues of nappy contents, which supermarkets are having sales on said nappies, weaning, sleep patterns, buggy model… Believe me, I could go on for days! And my sense of self-judgement has been questioned.

Mothers, and especially new mothers, are an interesting breed – we doubt ourselves constantly, look for reassurance on an almost daily basis and feel guilty over every action we have a hand in …and yet, ultimately we believe we are the only ones who know what is best for our child. Like lionesses fiercely protecting our cubs, occasionally we may look to the rest of the pride for help, but mainly we alone are the ones we rely on to make the right decisions.

We all do things differently. Some mothers are convinced that rigid routine is the way forward while others fly by the seat of their elasticated pants; some mothers feed their babies by bottle while others are staunch advocates of ‘breast is best’; some mothers know every nursery rhyme that was ever written while others rely on the musical numbers from their own childhoods – in the end, the differences are irrelevant because that is what makes us human but the most important thing and the one thing we have in common is the mere fact that we are all mothers.

Every mother I meet has her own way, her own neuroses and methods and while a handful choose to judge the practice of their parental peers – shooting loaded looks when they discover that Rudy goes to bed whenever he chooses to go to sleep while their little one is safely tucked away at 7pm sharp every night – the rest of us acknowledge that there is no right way to parent, there is just the way we each know how.

Motherhood, and indeed parenthood, is a remarkable adventure and one I am honoured to be taking. Being entrusted with the welfare of another person and the opportunity to enable them to realise their potential, their dreams and their own happiness – it is a huge responsibility but one that is hugely rewarding and exciting. Every step is paved with scary moments and moments that are wonderful and we want to share every single one.

Though we are all different, and may agree to disagree on a number of points, the truth is that my best references for ‘mothering’ are my fellow mums. They are the ones I call on for support, advice and reassurance. Because it is their experience, whether 30 years worth or just 3 weeks, that is so invaluable as I learn from how they have handled everything from labour to teething to potty training and beyond.

There is no ‘how-to’ for being a parent but you can always ask for directions along the way.

26 and Pregnant: Should I Stay or Should I Go?

In It's My Year, It's Only Words on 05/05/2012 at 17:06

The first time you leave your baby is one of those moments plagued with reluctance, anxiety and emotion. It throws up any number of concerns and you find yourself concocting excuse after excuse as to why you shouldn’t go out and leave your child.

From that amazing ultrasound scan to meeting her for the first time at the end of an exhausting and painful labour, any thought for yourself (and anyone else) goes right out the window as your life becomes about this little person that started life inside you. So how can you leave her, even for a second?

This week was mine and my husbands’s second wedding anniversary and tonight we have asked my mother to babysit for a couple of hours so we can go on a date and enjoy a meal which we will eat at the same time as each other and not gobble down at record pace.

I – who have had great problem with expressing – have pumped out two bottles of breast milk which are in the fridge should baby get hungry in my absence. However, this past week she’s had a cold and on two occasions has refused to take a bottle from both myself and my husband. This does not bode well…

In addition, as a pleasant development in my otherwise peaceful daughter, she is now showing signs of reflux; arching her back, crying and being unable to settle easily.

All these things have only increased my reluctance to leave her, albeit for a short time. Add to that my anal control complex over how someone else will change her nappy, attend to her needs and of course feed her, and you can see why I may have trouble detaching for one evening.

I know that an evening being a couple is both necessary and a rare luxury to be treasured and I know that I need to learn to relax when it comes to my baby, but it is a difficult thing to consider when she’s barely been apart from me since she was born. The responsibility and love you feel for your child, particularly when they are so small and helpless, is overwhelming so the thought of not being there to tend to their every need – even for a short time – is unthinkable.

But, though I adore my daughter more than words can say, I also love her Daddy and so for him – and yes, for me – I will entrust her care for one evening to my mother who at a similar point in my young life did the same with me. After all, everyone needs a bit of romance in their lives …especially exhausted new parents!

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26 and Pregnant: To My Daughter

In It's My Year, It's Only Words on 04/22/2012 at 07:44

Her hand in mine

Waking up to that beautiful smile, her little face full of joy,
Reminds me each day of how lucky I am (that I didn’t end up with a boy!)
Seriously though, no matter the sex, my baby has changed my life,
Now I add ‘mother’ to my list of roles, as important as daughter and wife.
The relationships that remain consistent and true, not forgetting sister and friend,
It is our ties to these people that make life worthwhile, getting us through till the end.
I, the self-confessed shopaholic, have rechannelled my spending ways,
No longer intent on needs of my own, I buy baby something new every day!
The only person I get up for night after night without any complaint,
She is my focus, the star in my sky, my inspirational saint.
Convinced my first child would be a son, I suppressed my desire for a girl,
Because ultimately though it would not have changed my heart, a daughter completed my world.
Someone to share my experiences with, to provide support through puberty, school and boys,
To exchange clothes and secrets, offer advice and pass on to her all my old toys.
Perhaps when she’s ready she’ll want to wear the dress from my wedding day,
As she takes her steps as an independent woman who knows she can go her own way.
The things that I wish for my darling daughter are to be healthy, happy and good,
And to find someone by whom, she will be loved, cared for and understood.
Lying beside me in her basket taking in the world that surrounds,
My heart bursts with a deep true love, a love that knows no bounds…