Facebook Me!

You know those girls (and guys for that matter) who pose for their Facebook pictures like they think they’re modelling for Vogue (or GQ). We all have them somewhere in our online trove of “friends”.

Are you lookin' at me? (Well why not!!)

They pout, they pose, they strike the old-favourite over the shoulder maneouvre as though they were reacting to paparazzi on the red carpet when in fact they have specifically asked a friend/boyfriend/girlfriend/stranger to capture them in exactly this pose in exactly this lighting and then post it up on their profile as though they just happened to be looking like that at the time the camera just happened to be in use…

The ones where they’re naked or semi-naked are even funnier, not to mention the bizarre individuals that are literally making love to the camera. Why the F do they think this is something their fellow facebookers wish to see? The joke is that the aforementioned ‘fellow facebookers’ merely regard these images with an arched eyebrow and quizzical expression, not deigning to believe that this loser actually took the time to pose for said pictures and then uploaded them. One of my “facebook friends” had actually recreated the Vogue photoshoot scene from the Sex and the City movie (part 1) in her own wedding dress, on her own wedding day (who has the time?!) lying (ahem, topless) across a couch with the skirt of her dress billowing out behind her… I mean, come on!!

These pictures are essentially the work of a serial attention whore. You know the person. The one that cannot survive without the spotlight shining directly on them at all times. The one who in school always had to be the lead in the school play and threw a tantrum if she/he didn’t get it. The one who pulled the most outlandish (and overtly sexy) dance moves at every party you went to. The one who always wore/wears the skimpiest, most ridiculous outfits – regardless of the season. The one who always, without fail, makes a scene about something – just in case people weren’t already paying attention.

The people who litter their facebook photo albums with these poser-esque types of pictures are of course mega show-offs – crying out for people to observe their looks… from every, single, angle. Of course, every facebook user is a show-off of sorts, posting updates about your night in a 5* hotel in Korea, updating your relationship status to ‘engaged’, uploading photos of you and your significant other ensconced in each other’s arms while reclining on a sandy beach on a remote but expensive island while your friends sit at their office computers staring out at the rain and harbour inner hatred and jealousy.

However, the posers are the biggest show-offs of them all. Just saying!!

I'm CEO, bitch

With the 2010 release of The Social Network, facebook has recaptured the attention of those defecting to the likes of Twitter and Flickr and so on, as people rediscover the fascination of Mark Zuckerberg’s digital brainchild and their equal fascination with what and who their “friends” are doing.

Breaking News: Incidentally, star of the movie, Jesse Eisenberg, has just been nominated for Best Actor at the Oscars. If ever there was a time to get your pose on…